As the end of this non-drinking year draws near I've began thinking about drinking again. No, I don't mean drinking now, but next year. What can/will I drink, how much will I drink, when. There is no way I will never have alcohol again, and a certainty that I'll reintroduce it to my diet Jan 1, but definitely, yes definitely, it will be in moderation. The thing is, I'm a little scared of drinking again. I'm scared of:
- Hangovers. I saw my lovely other half go through one the other day, and I have many, many memories of awful hangovers I've given myself. Yes they can be avoided by drinking in moderation but even sometimes a bad wine or a little too much (2.5 glasses instead of 2) tipsmyou over into hangover territory. It's not only that I can't afford to take a day off anymore, but I just hate the pain, the headaches, the nausea.
- My Health, or people's aspersions about my health. Most specifically it is my Dr and rheumie's idea of my health. I feel like it was only when I stopped drinking that the persistent health issues were taken seriously. Now I know that this wasn't the case at all, and it just needed time for the diagnosis to be confirmed, but it felt like eliminating one possible factor meant something. I know moderate drinking can be part of a healthy lifestyle, and goodness knows that not drinking didn't help my weight problems one iota, but I just can't seem to stop this lingering doubt. I really should stop worriyng about other people's perceptions.
- My Health Pt 2 - I'm now on medication and feeling but better than I was. And alcohol doesn't really interact with it, so there are no problems there but I am still scared. Scared that it will interact, or that it might make me sick, or that I'll turn green with purple polkadots.
- Forgetting my limit. I had a bit of an issue with this in the past. It wasn't that I had to drink to get drunk or anything, it was more that I just got caught up in the social aspect of it all. No, not drinking games or the like, just having fun with friends over a drink or two would turn into 3 drinks, 4 drinks, another bottle and before I knew it I'd gone beyond giggly and was going to feel it the next day. I know my limit, I know when to stop, but I know me, and I know I get easily carried away when I'm happy and in a social situation.