I've had a couple of really lovely comments on this blog by confirmed teetotallers and you all rock. Thanks for the support and kind words, they're very helpful. There are also comments by lovely cousins and rellos but they already know they're super special and awesome (at least I hope they do)
In hindsight, I should probably have read more of the other sources out there. I mean this one literally fell into my lap via a friend on facebook:
How Hard Should It Be ...
It is an article by another teetotaller who has put on weight! She took on Dry July so it was only a month off the boose but it gave her some life revelations, or at the very least prompted a re-evaluation of alcohol in her life. In her case chocolate was the culprit for the weight gain. It seems to be alcohol's replacement drug of choice for many. But in my case a material obsession replaced the drinking which really, if anything, shouldn't put on weight (and no, I'm not eating the quilting supplies!)
It seems so paradoxical, be good for your health and lose the calories and toxins from alcohol, only to gain weight and feel supercrook. I realised that even without alcohol I feel like I'm hungover every day. Although I guess in my case I have been ill (an autoimmune thingy which is on the slide and each year gets one step closer to a firm diagnosis.) It has taken removing alcohol from my diet to see it really is a constant feature in my life. I think alcohol used to mask it, or at least give me an excuse to suggest it wasn't quite as serious as it perhaps was. Maybe also alcohol helped in a way ... stress is a trigger for my fatigue and brainfog and what better stress reliever than alcohol?!?
So time to do a bit of googling I say, find some more words by others on being a teetotal and maybe see what other realisations people have had when giving up alcohol.